Moving Overseas by Ricky Dagelet
Moving overseas is one of the biggest decisions one can face in his/her life. After choosing the right lifelong partner, this is probably the next most important decision you may have to make. Our family migrated to Sydney in 2004 after more than a year of praying, consulting, and investigating. Let me share with you what we have learned from our journey.
Your Vision and Mission
Your Vision and Mission
I have met some people whose vision is to live overseas. It ends there for them and they have nothing planed beyond this. “Basta makaalis ako sa Pinas”..”Goal ko makapag abroad”..”Gusto kong tumira sa Canada”. Now that they have gone overseas, & started encountering difficulties, they get confused & sometimes ask themselves “Now what…where do I go from here…is this really where I should be?..” .
Before we start planning our move overseas we must first have a clear vision and mission for ourselves and our family. The vision should be something we want to be in the future, it’s a source of inspiration, and will help us in our decision making. Moving overseas should not be the vision, but a means to achieve the vision, and live out the mission for our family. It must also be aligned with God’s Plan for us; we are made for God, and our goal is to be with Him in heaven. This vision should drive us as we make our decision to move overseas.
The Right Environment and Support
When me and my wife planned our move to Sydney, we made sure that we will not compromise our mission and vision for our family because of the change in environment. One important issue we faced was education and schooling for our kids. Our vision is to see them in a school where they can have the right environment to nurture their Catholic faith, at the same time get an education that can open opportunities for them in the future. We won’t make the move until we are sure the school can provide the same or even better environment for spiritual growth and education. Our kids came from Southridge School (http://www.southridge.edu.ph), a PAREF (Parents for Education) School which is known to have excellent value formation and education. We initially thought it will be hard to get something similar in Sydney, but by God’s grace we found a PARED (similar to PAREF) school called Redfield College (http://www.redfield.nsw.edu.au/) that provided the same level of formation. When we met the staff, and consulted the other parents in the school, we knew this is a great place for our kids, and the vision for our kids will be met. We would not have made the move if we could not be assured that the kids will be in the right school because compromising our kids’ formation and education is not an option.
We also agreed to continue the life we have learned to live in our community (Ang Ligaya ng Panginoon). Since there was no affiliate group of Ligaya in Sydney we gathered our friends, and their friends, to start a small prayer group. The Group is called God’s Light and it is now composed of over 12 families from all over Sydney. God’s Light acts as our support in helping us live the life of Christ in Sydney.
Resolving our Problems
Migration should not be used as an escape to the problems we face here. Existing problems could even be compounded overseas. A couple having relationship difficulties with their kids, or with one another, must first settle their differences before moving, and make sure there is a mechanism to resolve issues properly and in a good manner.
People who are having problems with their career, business, or studies should not see migration as a way to fix their problems. They could face harder situations overseas because they may have to start all over and build up their local knowledge, network, and expertise. If a child has bad study habits, these will not go away wherever you go. If you find yourself having frequent relationship problems with friends and co-workers, you can expect to face the same issues. The best thing is to fix these problems while you are still here, where you can get support from your family and friends.
Working Together as a Family
Expect to do a lot more things together as a family because there might not be a full time helper available. This means the job being done by one or two full time helpers will have to be distributed among the family members. To handle this, we need to develop our skills in the household before we leave, and even try living without the helpers a few months before you leave. Knowing how to cook, ironing clothes, cleaning the house, fixing appliances are some of the skills we need to prepare as we plan our move. I had to quickly learn how to be a handyman and use electrical tools when our vacuum cleaner got busted. Repairing it will cost the price of a new vacuum so I had to quickly learn how to be a handyman to save on cost.
In 2003, when we were already seriously considering migration, we spent our summer in Sydney to help us appreciate the life there. We decided not to live in a hotel but in a service apartment. I rented a car, my wife Brenda did the cooking, laundry, and everyone helped out in cleaning the apartment. We wanted to know if we can really live the life without helpers. This was a good test for me and Brenda to see if we can really do it. Brenda passed it with flying colors and I am so proud of her and appreciate her even more.
I strongly suggest each family try this out before making the move. If having a long family vacation overseas is not an option, you can ask your helpers to take a one month break and see if you can do it all without their help. I know some families who made a good decision of releasing their helpers months before they left, in order to get everyone prepared and trained. If you can’t survive this test, you might want to prepare first before making the move.
If you are moving as a family, it is important for you to have good relations with your spouse in order to make it work. There will be a lot of new challenges you will face and the support of one another is really important. Months before you move I suggest you start having weekly time together with your spouse. This is a time where you can really share your plans, dreams, and difficulties. Discuss how you will distribute the work, how to handle the children, and each one’s areas of concern. Make a list of things you wish to accomplish when overseas, and the lifestyle you want to live.
Preparing our Family
When we moved to Sydney in 2004, we realized that my 6 year old son still has not yet developed his fine motor skills required for proper eating. This skill was not developed because our helper would do most of the work, and he simply had to open his mouth to take in food. It took a while for our child to develop this, and a lot of hard work could have been avoided if we had developed his fine motor skills when we were still in Manila. With regards to sports, Australia places a lot of importance in swimming, and they expect every child to know how to swim well. We were not prepared for this and we had to accelerate our kid’s swimming training just to catch up with the requirement. If we had known sooner, we could have enrolled our kids in swimming lessons in Manila, where the cost is much cheaper and they had more time to learn.
Career Expectations
Most companies will not get a manager who just arrived from overseas; they will always prefer a person with local experience. So expect to start small and build up your career slowly. This could be a humbling experience, and you have to be ready to face this. You also have to ask yourself if you are ready to start your career all over again. You hear many stories of Doctors here moving overseas to be Nurses. I have a friend from Canada who used to work for our company as Vice President for Finance but had to downgrade her Resume / Bio Data in order to fit the job she is applying. It is just difficult to start but eventually, after getting experience, you should be able to get your career back on track.
If you work for a multinational company, it would be great if you can ask for a company transfer to the branch in the country you plan to live. Scout the job market even before you move so you can check the kind of jobs available, the compensation, and the location of the jobs available. There’s a lot of websites where you can browse for job openings. In Australia there is www.seek.com.au.
Having the right friends
Moving overseas could also mean starting to build friendships again. You have to choose friends that have similar values and vision to get the right support. Meeting people in the local Parish would be a great start. Pinoys normally hang around after Mass and catch up with one another. Try being involved in the choir or other parish services to meet new friends. This can be a good opportunity for you to associate with people from different backgrounds and learn from their experience.
Use this time to strengthen your friendships with your family. One of the best things that happened to our family is we became much closer and got to know our kids even more. Spend quality time with them, and be their best friend. Part of our weekly activities as a family are board games, Ping Pong, and Basketball. These activities help a lot bring you closer to each other.
You need the support of family and friends especially when loneliness strikes you. Loneliness is something you can never be really prepared for, and the best way to overcome it is to develop new friendships and have your loving family support you.
Distractions of the World
The pull of the world is much greater overseas; you have higher purchasing power, and more choices that could lead to materialism and financial stress. Financial Credit is easier to avail, but don’t be tempted to use it unless really necessary. The recent news about credit and mortgage distress in developed countries just proves that a lot of people spend more than their means. You might be tempted to buy the European Car or Luxury home of your dream, but end up sacrificing more important things like your family vacation or good schooling for your kids. Set your priorities, and don’t be influenced by others in choosing what you need. Have a budget for your family and set aside some money each month for savings and investments.
Don’t just Survive, but Thrive
If your goal is simply to survive then it might be better to just stay here because you can get support from your family and friends. When you migrate, your goal should not survive but to thrive and prosper, not just materially, but spiritually as well. If you think your spirituality will decrease, then its time to rethink your move. “For what will profit a man if he gains the whole world, but loses his soul” Mat 16:26. Your spirituality should be strong enough to overcome challenges and even conquer new grounds. Be open to opportunities to spread God’s Word, and have a missionary attitude when going overseas. But it does not mean we should only be missionaries when we go abroad, we should be missionaries wherever we are, even in our home country.
Preparing the Children
For me it is ideal to move overseas if the kids are already mature enough and can already take responsibilities at home. It is more challenging to live overseas when you still have babies and need to attend to them most of the time. We also need to make sure our kids already have a good understanding of what is right and wrong and are grounded on Christian values like love for God, Prayer, Purity, and Forgiveness, so they will not be easily swayed and be strong in their faith. I just found out from that only a fraction of the catholic youth in Sydney are still practicing their faith after finishing University. Most have stopped going to Church regularly, and have neglected their faith. This is an area of concern that the Catholic Schools are working on.
God Needs Filipinos Overseas
I once asked my friend who visited us in Sydney to watch who were serving during the Mass. Also see who are the choir members, and check out the crowd, who do you see there. Yes they are mostly Filipinos. God must have a purpose for sending a lot of Filipinos overseas. One of them is to serve the church and bring life back to the Parish. I am sure if there were no Filipino migrants, the Catholic Church overseas would have lost a great deal. God has a plan for Filipinos overseas and I hope we all participate in God’s Plan. Let’s be active in our local parish and serve our God.
Checklist for Moving Overseas
Here is a simple checklist I made which you can use to check if you are ready to move.
What is your vision and mission? Will moving overseas help you reach your vision or compromise it?
Have you prayed about your decision? Have you consulted your family, friends, and leaders about your move?
Do you already have a good relationship with your spouse and kids? Do you spend quality time with them? Do your kids open up to you? What are their concerns about this move? Have you explained the reasons for moving?
Which part of the city do you plan to live? Are there good schools in the area? Have I done enough background check on the school?
Have you already talked about the responsibilities of each person in the household? What kind of skills do we still need to develop?
Have you scouted the job market? Do you have the skills needed for the job you want? Is the job available in your area? Can the compensation afford the lifestyle we want? Please consider income tax payments when calculating the compensation.
Can we live without helpers? Have we tried to live without helpers?
Before we start planning our move overseas we must first have a clear vision and mission for ourselves and our family. The vision should be something we want to be in the future, it’s a source of inspiration, and will help us in our decision making. Moving overseas should not be the vision, but a means to achieve the vision, and live out the mission for our family. It must also be aligned with God’s Plan for us; we are made for God, and our goal is to be with Him in heaven. This vision should drive us as we make our decision to move overseas.
The Right Environment and Support
When me and my wife planned our move to Sydney, we made sure that we will not compromise our mission and vision for our family because of the change in environment. One important issue we faced was education and schooling for our kids. Our vision is to see them in a school where they can have the right environment to nurture their Catholic faith, at the same time get an education that can open opportunities for them in the future. We won’t make the move until we are sure the school can provide the same or even better environment for spiritual growth and education. Our kids came from Southridge School (http://www.southridge.edu.ph), a PAREF (Parents for Education) School which is known to have excellent value formation and education. We initially thought it will be hard to get something similar in Sydney, but by God’s grace we found a PARED (similar to PAREF) school called Redfield College (http://www.redfield.nsw.edu.au/) that provided the same level of formation. When we met the staff, and consulted the other parents in the school, we knew this is a great place for our kids, and the vision for our kids will be met. We would not have made the move if we could not be assured that the kids will be in the right school because compromising our kids’ formation and education is not an option.
We also agreed to continue the life we have learned to live in our community (Ang Ligaya ng Panginoon). Since there was no affiliate group of Ligaya in Sydney we gathered our friends, and their friends, to start a small prayer group. The Group is called God’s Light and it is now composed of over 12 families from all over Sydney. God’s Light acts as our support in helping us live the life of Christ in Sydney.
Resolving our Problems
Migration should not be used as an escape to the problems we face here. Existing problems could even be compounded overseas. A couple having relationship difficulties with their kids, or with one another, must first settle their differences before moving, and make sure there is a mechanism to resolve issues properly and in a good manner.
People who are having problems with their career, business, or studies should not see migration as a way to fix their problems. They could face harder situations overseas because they may have to start all over and build up their local knowledge, network, and expertise. If a child has bad study habits, these will not go away wherever you go. If you find yourself having frequent relationship problems with friends and co-workers, you can expect to face the same issues. The best thing is to fix these problems while you are still here, where you can get support from your family and friends.
Working Together as a Family
Expect to do a lot more things together as a family because there might not be a full time helper available. This means the job being done by one or two full time helpers will have to be distributed among the family members. To handle this, we need to develop our skills in the household before we leave, and even try living without the helpers a few months before you leave. Knowing how to cook, ironing clothes, cleaning the house, fixing appliances are some of the skills we need to prepare as we plan our move. I had to quickly learn how to be a handyman and use electrical tools when our vacuum cleaner got busted. Repairing it will cost the price of a new vacuum so I had to quickly learn how to be a handyman to save on cost.
In 2003, when we were already seriously considering migration, we spent our summer in Sydney to help us appreciate the life there. We decided not to live in a hotel but in a service apartment. I rented a car, my wife Brenda did the cooking, laundry, and everyone helped out in cleaning the apartment. We wanted to know if we can really live the life without helpers. This was a good test for me and Brenda to see if we can really do it. Brenda passed it with flying colors and I am so proud of her and appreciate her even more.
I strongly suggest each family try this out before making the move. If having a long family vacation overseas is not an option, you can ask your helpers to take a one month break and see if you can do it all without their help. I know some families who made a good decision of releasing their helpers months before they left, in order to get everyone prepared and trained. If you can’t survive this test, you might want to prepare first before making the move.
If you are moving as a family, it is important for you to have good relations with your spouse in order to make it work. There will be a lot of new challenges you will face and the support of one another is really important. Months before you move I suggest you start having weekly time together with your spouse. This is a time where you can really share your plans, dreams, and difficulties. Discuss how you will distribute the work, how to handle the children, and each one’s areas of concern. Make a list of things you wish to accomplish when overseas, and the lifestyle you want to live.
Preparing our Family
When we moved to Sydney in 2004, we realized that my 6 year old son still has not yet developed his fine motor skills required for proper eating. This skill was not developed because our helper would do most of the work, and he simply had to open his mouth to take in food. It took a while for our child to develop this, and a lot of hard work could have been avoided if we had developed his fine motor skills when we were still in Manila. With regards to sports, Australia places a lot of importance in swimming, and they expect every child to know how to swim well. We were not prepared for this and we had to accelerate our kid’s swimming training just to catch up with the requirement. If we had known sooner, we could have enrolled our kids in swimming lessons in Manila, where the cost is much cheaper and they had more time to learn.
Career Expectations
Most companies will not get a manager who just arrived from overseas; they will always prefer a person with local experience. So expect to start small and build up your career slowly. This could be a humbling experience, and you have to be ready to face this. You also have to ask yourself if you are ready to start your career all over again. You hear many stories of Doctors here moving overseas to be Nurses. I have a friend from Canada who used to work for our company as Vice President for Finance but had to downgrade her Resume / Bio Data in order to fit the job she is applying. It is just difficult to start but eventually, after getting experience, you should be able to get your career back on track.
If you work for a multinational company, it would be great if you can ask for a company transfer to the branch in the country you plan to live. Scout the job market even before you move so you can check the kind of jobs available, the compensation, and the location of the jobs available. There’s a lot of websites where you can browse for job openings. In Australia there is www.seek.com.au.
Having the right friends
Moving overseas could also mean starting to build friendships again. You have to choose friends that have similar values and vision to get the right support. Meeting people in the local Parish would be a great start. Pinoys normally hang around after Mass and catch up with one another. Try being involved in the choir or other parish services to meet new friends. This can be a good opportunity for you to associate with people from different backgrounds and learn from their experience.
Use this time to strengthen your friendships with your family. One of the best things that happened to our family is we became much closer and got to know our kids even more. Spend quality time with them, and be their best friend. Part of our weekly activities as a family are board games, Ping Pong, and Basketball. These activities help a lot bring you closer to each other.
You need the support of family and friends especially when loneliness strikes you. Loneliness is something you can never be really prepared for, and the best way to overcome it is to develop new friendships and have your loving family support you.
Distractions of the World
The pull of the world is much greater overseas; you have higher purchasing power, and more choices that could lead to materialism and financial stress. Financial Credit is easier to avail, but don’t be tempted to use it unless really necessary. The recent news about credit and mortgage distress in developed countries just proves that a lot of people spend more than their means. You might be tempted to buy the European Car or Luxury home of your dream, but end up sacrificing more important things like your family vacation or good schooling for your kids. Set your priorities, and don’t be influenced by others in choosing what you need. Have a budget for your family and set aside some money each month for savings and investments.
Don’t just Survive, but Thrive
If your goal is simply to survive then it might be better to just stay here because you can get support from your family and friends. When you migrate, your goal should not survive but to thrive and prosper, not just materially, but spiritually as well. If you think your spirituality will decrease, then its time to rethink your move. “For what will profit a man if he gains the whole world, but loses his soul” Mat 16:26. Your spirituality should be strong enough to overcome challenges and even conquer new grounds. Be open to opportunities to spread God’s Word, and have a missionary attitude when going overseas. But it does not mean we should only be missionaries when we go abroad, we should be missionaries wherever we are, even in our home country.
Preparing the Children
For me it is ideal to move overseas if the kids are already mature enough and can already take responsibilities at home. It is more challenging to live overseas when you still have babies and need to attend to them most of the time. We also need to make sure our kids already have a good understanding of what is right and wrong and are grounded on Christian values like love for God, Prayer, Purity, and Forgiveness, so they will not be easily swayed and be strong in their faith. I just found out from that only a fraction of the catholic youth in Sydney are still practicing their faith after finishing University. Most have stopped going to Church regularly, and have neglected their faith. This is an area of concern that the Catholic Schools are working on.
God Needs Filipinos Overseas
I once asked my friend who visited us in Sydney to watch who were serving during the Mass. Also see who are the choir members, and check out the crowd, who do you see there. Yes they are mostly Filipinos. God must have a purpose for sending a lot of Filipinos overseas. One of them is to serve the church and bring life back to the Parish. I am sure if there were no Filipino migrants, the Catholic Church overseas would have lost a great deal. God has a plan for Filipinos overseas and I hope we all participate in God’s Plan. Let’s be active in our local parish and serve our God.
Checklist for Moving Overseas
Here is a simple checklist I made which you can use to check if you are ready to move.
What is your vision and mission? Will moving overseas help you reach your vision or compromise it?
Have you prayed about your decision? Have you consulted your family, friends, and leaders about your move?
Do you already have a good relationship with your spouse and kids? Do you spend quality time with them? Do your kids open up to you? What are their concerns about this move? Have you explained the reasons for moving?
Which part of the city do you plan to live? Are there good schools in the area? Have I done enough background check on the school?
Have you already talked about the responsibilities of each person in the household? What kind of skills do we still need to develop?
Have you scouted the job market? Do you have the skills needed for the job you want? Is the job available in your area? Can the compensation afford the lifestyle we want? Please consider income tax payments when calculating the compensation.
Can we live without helpers? Have we tried to live without helpers?
